I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
