having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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