i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
