All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i love accidental penises.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The Olympian is in my bed
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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