awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
