U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
