The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
