I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
