you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
