He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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