We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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