p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
