When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
