dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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