why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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