I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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