You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
