Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize