It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize