she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
