i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
