Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
