I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
