Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
