real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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