I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
