well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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