just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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