it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Randomize
