I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
