Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
