At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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