Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
