Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
