Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
