Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize