He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
