I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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