I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just had sex bonerless
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize