I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize