they need to just BURY HIM!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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