Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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