Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
