NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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