i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
