Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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