Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
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Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
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