holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
