BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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