your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
