ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
