Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
