i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
