He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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