At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
soo... how was my night?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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