are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she smelled like a LAN party
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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