Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize