The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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