singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
