he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
