on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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