I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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