Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
