Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
