i was born a porn star she said
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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