In the future we'll all be gay
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You made out with two different species that night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
