I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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