i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
