girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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